Join us on wednesdays from 8-9pm
Contact Craig Cooper with any questions
Get In-Get Healthy-Get Strong-Get Going!
Don't miss this life changing one-day event. It's for dads and their high school sons on Saturday, April 29th. Go HERE to reserve your spot!
Carpool and Caravan from Leawood Pres at 8:00am. It's on rain or shine. Please arrive between 9:00 and 9:15am to check in. Paintball starts at 9:30am sharp! The event will conclude after dinner (approx. 6:30pm).
Shalom Retreat Center
12985 Country Road 1095
Mound City, KS 66056-6201
Notes from the Four Faces of a Man
Definition of manhood:
Don’t just stand there, do something.
The primal problem of men is passivity.
God calls us to be action oriented like a king and courageous like a warrior. God wants us to possess grit and determination and like the Royals, never give up.
THese next two sessions gives us a perspective of masculinity that expands our definition of manhood.
Narrow definitions of manhood will limit you in what you do and experience in life.
Our society sees us as one dimensional, as just tough guy, or ceo, or romantic ladies man. That dominates our culture’s view of man.
The man who can use all four faces is rare, we assume it’s unreachable. We use renaissance man as if it’s a thing of the past.
Like a man leading a company with integrity while leading his wife and kids and friends isn’t possible.
The Bible paints a different picture. Be like David-write a song, play a harp, kill a giant, lead a nation and have strong relationships with other men.
We need men who can step into all that God has created us to be.
Instead of a narrow caricature, we need a biblically based definition of manhood that can express itself appropriately and powerfully.
EAch complimenting the other expressions we call:
Four Faces of Manhood.
Lover (See Cooper as the ultimate lover)
These four are not comprehensive or rigid categories. No man fits perfectly into all of them, but this will provide a helpful framework to move past one dimensional manhood, and it’s not just for psychological categories.
The King face reflects:
Characterized by strong convictions
Courageous moral choices
THe essence of the king face is providing direction for others and loving what is right.
Integrity is the key association. He loves truth and integrity over what’s convenient and easy.
He knows what’s right and it’s declared by God
It’s never wrong to do what’s right.
It’s the Face he shows when he’s tempted to cheat.
When a he sees a friend’s life out of control.
Confront the guy, calling him back to what’s right, even if it’s uncomfortable.
In the bible, you see this king face in a man named Nathan.
He knows King David could have him banished from the kingdom or even killed.
He lays it on the line and says you are wrong.
It’s also shown by David interestingly enough, he didn’t make excuses or explain himself out, he said he had sinned, genuinely broken, he confessed and repented.
It’s also associated with leadership, and he can create order and bless others.
He creates harmony, provision and protection for those entrusted to him.
Stu Webber’s, 4 Pillars of A Man’s Heart, the king looks ahead and anticipates need, spots potential dangers, defines direction and charts a wise course.
Now, when a man’s king face is pushed too far, and lacks compliment or balance of other faces, it turns into a bully, tyrant dictator.
If your fight to hold what is right turns you into a self righteous, argumentative man...then it corrupts your influence.
What about a man not developed his character, then you'll struggle with compromise.
Men throw down their swords or nobility for their own selfish gain and pleasing others.
ONe extreme tyrant, then compromiser, both miss manhood, caricatures of king face.
When wielded correctly.
Prov. 27 says, “THe righteous man who walks in his integrity, blessed are his children after him.”
YOu can give your son great gear or presence, but best example is integrity and great name.
You inject a substance into his soul that’s hard to get anywhere else and he can build his life.
Without it you teach him to build paper house life tossed by storms.
Lead with integrity.
Warrior Face feels most natural to most men, but don’t grab your sword just yet.
THis reflects courageous energy.
The First Adam couldn’t find his warrior face when his wife needed his protection.
It’s Associated with initiative
Cowards love to criticize others instead of fight.
Actions should flow out of submission to God.
Warrior says I will take this company global, fight for this marriage, or run that marathon, lays out plan and executes and finishes.
Something within most of us enjoys a great fight, it takes life head on.
It works the hardest, longest, not gonna quit, rises above comfort and security, most comfortable on battle fields, not satisfied with mediocrity.
Face that fights for what matters most.
Weather and sports or business isn’t enough, it shows tenacity, and it’s an extraordinary effort.
Associated with purpose, constructive not destructive, not fighting aimlessly or fighting for the sake of fighting.
They fight the noble fights, intentional.
They fight for areas that matter most.
1 Cor. 9:24 said this, “Do you not know in a race all the runners run but only one receives the prize?
so run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things...
Not only fight, but fight with purpose.
For the noble and eternal things;
1 Tim 6 lists specific qualities we should fight for.
Fight the good fight of the faith.
Righteousness and faith call to higher things, like pual calling Timothy to take up your sword and fight noble fights, call younger men into the battle...
THere can be a dark side or shadow side of this face as well.
If you overdo warrior face you get a destroyer.. and hurts those around him.
Workaholic, doesn’t value relationships...
On other hand you get a wimp, no back bone, quick to tap out, comfortable playing vicitm stuck in passivity, call that boy land, always allowing others to cover for him...
We have a sea of men who are soft when it comes time for decision and decisiveness and wants others to make decisions for them.
Droves of soft males for them.
WHen it comes to leadership and decisiveness they’re soft.
THey quit when realize it’s harder than they thought, the idea of finishing is foreign the idea of working 8-5 is not real, they think they’re still in college, show up late, not to be counted on, time to say enough.
Let’s not allow soft snooze button males, enough, call them up to authentic manhood.
Phrase is fighting for what matters most.
King and warrior shows up on daily basis, going to work every day.
Establish boundaries and lead our family through tough time, don’t live like single when you’re married and with kids.
Leads with integrity and warrior fights for what matters most.
Make it real, not just get excited.
Strategic move means, write it down.
Where we are to where we need to be.
If you have the creator of the world behind you, how hard can it be.